I have and most likely always will be one of those girls who has been refered to as a "gamer"
Im not sure what the definition really is, I dont think I rank up there in "gamer" land but I do enjoy playing them.
I have always had games, I still have my original nintendo, and bust out some Donkey Kong or Super Mario 3 from time to time, Nintendo 64 was my fav, I played Perfect Dark for HOURS with the guys in highschool, we would crank my health up and they would all gang up on me on one hit kills. Good times.
I have had pretty much all the Game Boys, Segas, PSPs, DSs etc that there are, and thanks to my insomnia usually play them all night to keep from dying of bordem.
Gamecube was a pretty bug let down, however one of my fondest memories of my Aunt Wendy is sitting in the living room and listening to her giggle to herself while she played Harvest Moon, which since then has become another addiction of mine, I am currently playing it AGAIN on my DS... its one of those games you dont really have to pay much attention to which suites me just fine these days. Wii and I were good friends in the beginning, I have definatly gotten very drunk and played Mario Kart racing all night, and had friends over for bowling parties.
I even lost 20 pounds with Wii Fit plus before I went to Dominican ( then gained it ALL back while there lol)
We had the Xbox 360 for all of 2 weeks before we sold it, we got bored with it pretty quick.
For christmas I bought Steve the playstation 3. and he has more or less been addicted to the game Call of Duty - Black Ops. It doesnt help that pretty much everyone he knows also play this game religiously . I vowed not to start playing because I did not want to get hooked... well stupid me I tryed it, and now Im hooked ! as soon as Emma goes for her nap (which these days are few and far between) I get Hailey fed, and jump online. I and definatly NOT good at this game yet. but I dont care. Its my "mommy time"... thats right, I have even given up having a bath to play this game... If you know me at all you know how odd that is.
Yes I realize that while playing I could be doing many things, laundry, dishes etc... but my excuse is that Emma would be sooo disapointed if she didnt get to help with those things, she has definatly become mommy's little helper. for now, Hailey is just sleeping during that time anyway. and what mom out there doesnt have their little guilty pleasure... so what if mine includes blowing people up in game-land?
so there... Im done... back to Nuke-Town I go... love and rockets
Kort <3
Friday, February 11, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Venting... and an update on the kidlets =)
Lately I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions. Like everything I am doing is the wrong thing in someway, and I just cant seem to get it right.
I have an intense feeling of guilt for Hailey being in the hospital, every thought from "did I drink to much coffee?" to "why couldn't I suck it up and deal with the pain better" runs through my head a gazillion times a day. and then there is the fact that I had to be away from my Em for almost 3 weeks with just visits, and still now with Hailey being in the hospital she is missing out on her Mom time, I have to spend as much time as I can with Hailey to get her home, which means Em has to spend more time with out me.
so I spend as much time as I can when I am at home with Emma which of course makes me feel guilty for not doing more around the house. Or for not having time to make Steve's lunch or even make dinner. I was put in the hospital just a few days after Christmas and we just moved in before that, so we hadn't even finished unpacking yet, dinning room is still full of boxes, bedrooms are a mess of clothes and our furniture still isn't even in the right spots, where am I going to find time to do everything? Hailey could be home within the week, Steve works full time sometimes not even getting home until 7 and we have to be at the hospital to feed Hailey at 8 o'clock.
This is just scratching the surface.
On the other hand I am so blessed to have everything I have, and the people around me who have been so amazing and supportive through everything.
I cant believe how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life, I mean not many people would have taken Emma down to sick kids for us, its a pretty intense thing, and takes an entire day.
People who took the time out of there day to just come and sit with me, deliver me goodies, look after our daughter. even friends who had us over for a night of video games and relaxing is amazing. How could I ask for more?
Emma is such a little smarty pants these days, she will sit for an hour and have a tea party with her teddy bear, and carry on an entire conversation.
She has pretty much conquered her colors, at times when she is not paying attention she will mix up colors like pink and purple. but she knows them.
When we went to Sick kids last week she decided she was a fairy that day, and everywhere we went she would have to "fly!" which pretty much entails her running as fast as she can (which is pretty adorable to watch with her brace on) and flapping her arms. Waiting rooms to Emma just means there are people sitting around needing to be entertained with song and dance routines.
Hailey, sweet little Hailey, I can not believe how much bigger she feels at only 2 weeks old, she has not put on alot of weight, but she has filled out alot, and doesn't feel so fragile.
she is doing better taking her feeds, we just have a problem keeping her awake long enough, especially breast feeding, it just tuckers the poor girl out!. So we have been bottle feeding her my breast milk a few times a day to give her a bit of a break but still get her strength up. considering she wasn't even suppose to be born yet, she is doing amazing. We just want her home.
I have an intense feeling of guilt for Hailey being in the hospital, every thought from "did I drink to much coffee?" to "why couldn't I suck it up and deal with the pain better" runs through my head a gazillion times a day. and then there is the fact that I had to be away from my Em for almost 3 weeks with just visits, and still now with Hailey being in the hospital she is missing out on her Mom time, I have to spend as much time as I can with Hailey to get her home, which means Em has to spend more time with out me.
so I spend as much time as I can when I am at home with Emma which of course makes me feel guilty for not doing more around the house. Or for not having time to make Steve's lunch or even make dinner. I was put in the hospital just a few days after Christmas and we just moved in before that, so we hadn't even finished unpacking yet, dinning room is still full of boxes, bedrooms are a mess of clothes and our furniture still isn't even in the right spots, where am I going to find time to do everything? Hailey could be home within the week, Steve works full time sometimes not even getting home until 7 and we have to be at the hospital to feed Hailey at 8 o'clock.
This is just scratching the surface.
On the other hand I am so blessed to have everything I have, and the people around me who have been so amazing and supportive through everything.
I cant believe how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life, I mean not many people would have taken Emma down to sick kids for us, its a pretty intense thing, and takes an entire day.
People who took the time out of there day to just come and sit with me, deliver me goodies, look after our daughter. even friends who had us over for a night of video games and relaxing is amazing. How could I ask for more?
Emma is such a little smarty pants these days, she will sit for an hour and have a tea party with her teddy bear, and carry on an entire conversation.
She has pretty much conquered her colors, at times when she is not paying attention she will mix up colors like pink and purple. but she knows them.
When we went to Sick kids last week she decided she was a fairy that day, and everywhere we went she would have to "fly!" which pretty much entails her running as fast as she can (which is pretty adorable to watch with her brace on) and flapping her arms. Waiting rooms to Emma just means there are people sitting around needing to be entertained with song and dance routines.
Hailey, sweet little Hailey, I can not believe how much bigger she feels at only 2 weeks old, she has not put on alot of weight, but she has filled out alot, and doesn't feel so fragile.
she is doing better taking her feeds, we just have a problem keeping her awake long enough, especially breast feeding, it just tuckers the poor girl out!. So we have been bottle feeding her my breast milk a few times a day to give her a bit of a break but still get her strength up. considering she wasn't even suppose to be born yet, she is doing amazing. We just want her home.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Love affair with the bath tub
3 years ago when someone would ask me what I want for my birthday, I would have responded with the latest fashion accessory, CD, or game...now all I can think of when asked this question is, an hour or two, to myself, in the bathtub.
I'm not talking to wash my hair or shave my legs, screw that. Bath time is meant for piling my hair on top of my head in the least sexy fashion ever, getting a large bowl full of some type of snack food, preferably popcorn and peanut M&Ms, with a large glass of some delicious cold drink, a fat intensely intriguing book to read, and last but not least, some ear plugs!
I am lucky enough to have a hubby-to-be who understands my love of the bath tub, he recently surprised me with some new Lavender Epsom salts, to me this is better than pearl earrings. When we were looking at apartments, the biggest selling point was if it had a bath tub or not, when I walked into the bathroom of our apartment for the first time I almost cried, going from a house shared by 6 with no bathtub, to a deep soaker tub with a slanted back,in our own apartment... priceless!
While pregnant I pulled off marathon style bathing, I would soak for HOURS multiple times a day, I even started bringing our portable DVD player in and watching my favorite shows. Bliss.
As of late, because I simply cannot seem to sleep at night, I have started taking baths in the middle of the night, with as much random smelly goodness as I can muster up.... I'm pretty sure this was the best idea I have ever had, considering once Hailey comes home I know my bath-time privileges will be split once again, I now have a secret rendezvous time with the bath tub <3
Yes this was a pretty random posting, I just hope I am not the only one who appreciates the magic of a bathtub LOL
As my daughter would say before bath-time HAPPY BUBBLES =)
I'm not talking to wash my hair or shave my legs, screw that. Bath time is meant for piling my hair on top of my head in the least sexy fashion ever, getting a large bowl full of some type of snack food, preferably popcorn and peanut M&Ms, with a large glass of some delicious cold drink, a fat intensely intriguing book to read, and last but not least, some ear plugs!
I am lucky enough to have a hubby-to-be who understands my love of the bath tub, he recently surprised me with some new Lavender Epsom salts, to me this is better than pearl earrings. When we were looking at apartments, the biggest selling point was if it had a bath tub or not, when I walked into the bathroom of our apartment for the first time I almost cried, going from a house shared by 6 with no bathtub, to a deep soaker tub with a slanted back,in our own apartment... priceless!
While pregnant I pulled off marathon style bathing, I would soak for HOURS multiple times a day, I even started bringing our portable DVD player in and watching my favorite shows. Bliss.
As of late, because I simply cannot seem to sleep at night, I have started taking baths in the middle of the night, with as much random smelly goodness as I can muster up.... I'm pretty sure this was the best idea I have ever had, considering once Hailey comes home I know my bath-time privileges will be split once again, I now have a secret rendezvous time with the bath tub <3
Yes this was a pretty random posting, I just hope I am not the only one who appreciates the magic of a bathtub LOL
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Time to get caught up!
To start of my new blogging life, I figured I should get caught up on all the insanity that has been my life for the past month.
It all started on Dec 30th around 2 am, I was very pregnant, and enjoying my usual late night bath while Emma slept and Steve happily (and loudly) played COD in the living room.
I started getting really bad pains in my chest and lower back (can you say ripped apart from the inside?) now I had been getting pains in the area for awhile, but NOTHING to this extent, I was of course simply brushing it off thinking it would go away like every other time... not so much... apparently Steve heard me over the intense explosions and shrieking from his game, and came to my rescue. he promptly woke Emma up, packed a bag of toys and snacks for her, got me in the truck and over to the hospital immediately. ( there was a lot of kicking and screaming on my part... I REALLY did not want to go...)
To be honest the next few weeks is pretty much a blur, I remember a LOT of tests, a LOT of different doctors and a LOT of stress and tears on my part ( I was away from my little girl and my hubby and felt very guilty about it ) I had many visitors who lovingly brought books, movies, candies, pictures, and general company to cheer me up, especially my loving Steve, who everyday would show up with something to make me smile.... in the end the diagnoses was a blocked Ureter valve in my kidney due to the position of my uterus... lovely I know. now being as pregnant as I was and in so much pain, baby was becoming distressed and I began having contractions on a regular basis. I was offered every means of having her early, but I could not get over the fact that it was just TOO early. ( I was at that point only 34 weeks) so my doctors and I agreed that with a few medications to keep me from going into labour I could make it past 36 weeks and she would be in much better health after that mark.
and so the wait continued, the most painful, uncomfortable few weeks of my life. when my nurse asked the doctor in front of my how long I had been in labour for, he generously piped up and said "lets just say in years to come she will be telling this baby she was in labor for 16 days."
eventually the time came in amongst the fog that is those few weeks that I had to have a temporary Stent put into my Uretor valve to allow some flow, which meant surgery =S I am NOT a fan of being put to sleep!... luckily I had some family there to greet me when I woke up which I don't really remember, but it was nice to know anyway.
The surgery was a success and did relieve a small amount of the pain and discomfort to baby... for a few days, when they say temporary, they mean it. My lovely surgeon had not informed me just how low the likeliness of the Stent being put in would actually help.... It was generally a waste of time, which is actually causing more damage than good now, and I still have to have another lovely surgery to have the bloody thing removed. (GRRRRR)
Anyway... another few days, or weeks, I really don't know went by and I began having regular contractions again ( uh-oh ) baby did NOT want to wait for the 36 week mark... so to save the baby any more strain, the plan was to induce. ( EIK ) Doc came in, did his thing, walked out the door and ten minutes later I was having contractions every 30 seconds like nobodies business... they had to stop my "over active uterus" from causing, again, more stress on baby.( after they lovingly made me suffer for a good few hours) next day, I was induced again, this time things went much slower...24 hours of slowness and the usual, "stuck @ 4 cm" crap. then all of a sudden within about 20 minutes I went from 4 cm to 10 cm and there was NO waiting... I mean doctors were yelling at me, I was yelling @ Steve,... 1 2 3 Puuusssshhh... and finally HAILEY had arrived!!!! 5 pounds 8 ounces of pure joy. As much as labour SUCKS there is nothing like those first few moments of pure bliss getting to hold your baby, watching Steve hold her was just as thrilling for me, we hugged and cried... and I sent him away to follow that little bundle and keep her safe.
As happy and elated as I was @ meeting my girl, this was the beginning of what has been the hardest time in my life.
Hailey was rushed to the nursery, and worked on... now I am not going to go into detail, but lets just say, he poor little thing has had a VERY rough first few days.
she has however gotten over obstacles they told us could take weeks, in the amount of 4 days. that's not to say she is in the clear just yet, but she is definitely our little trooper.
her biggest obstacle was her lungs, she was born with pretty immature lungs, and that with a combo of events in her first few days resulted in breathing tubes and help with lung pressure. she is now I am proud to say rid of all breathing apparatus we were told this would take weeks ( she was rid of the hoses or elephant nose as we refer to it) after only 3 days!.
Amongst a few small hurdles... little Troopers biggest obstacle at this point, is learning how to eat without needing a feeding tube. this is apparently a common problem with preemies, as they haven't yet developed the skill of sucking swallowing and breathing all at the same time (that's alot to learn!)
And so I have become the human milking machine (sorry if that disturbs you) but all I seem to do now is pump pump pump, its literally all I can do for Hailey now that I am home, and what she needs is nutrition to become stronger and healthier. we bottle up my breast milk and sometimes get the pleasure of helping to feed Hailey with the use of the feeding tube.... no its not the same as feeding my child the way I would like, but I still feel like I am helping her, even by just holding up that vial of milk as it drains.
So this post seems to be solely based on lil Hailey, lets not forget our 2 yr old resident smarty pants... we have simply hit a snag of bad timing. Poor Emma came down with a nasty flu bug the day before I had Hailey, and has basically been in quarantine at my mothers house ever since. I honestly can not begin to explain just how much I miss her (Ive been away for over a month with only visits to the hospital) , we talk on the phone a bazillion times a day, sing songs, and giggle... we even receive beautiful colored pictures of fruit and trees through a cracked car window as we drop off rations and medicine to our poor girl =( , I am over the moon excited for the day I can introduce her to her little sister , she is SOO excited! and I play Emma's rendition of Twinkle Twinkle little star to Hailey every chance I get, this was Emma's favorite song to sing to my belly <3 .
Ok... so I believe I have rambled on long enough, and covered most of the main points. I know I left alot out, but how could I possibly go on any longer? lol
you are now caught up. my daily(ish) blog can now start...
the beginning of 3 Ladies and a Guy <3
It all started on Dec 30th around 2 am, I was very pregnant, and enjoying my usual late night bath while Emma slept and Steve happily (and loudly) played COD in the living room.
I started getting really bad pains in my chest and lower back (can you say ripped apart from the inside?) now I had been getting pains in the area for awhile, but NOTHING to this extent, I was of course simply brushing it off thinking it would go away like every other time... not so much... apparently Steve heard me over the intense explosions and shrieking from his game, and came to my rescue. he promptly woke Emma up, packed a bag of toys and snacks for her, got me in the truck and over to the hospital immediately. ( there was a lot of kicking and screaming on my part... I REALLY did not want to go...)
To be honest the next few weeks is pretty much a blur, I remember a LOT of tests, a LOT of different doctors and a LOT of stress and tears on my part ( I was away from my little girl and my hubby and felt very guilty about it ) I had many visitors who lovingly brought books, movies, candies, pictures, and general company to cheer me up, especially my loving Steve, who everyday would show up with something to make me smile.... in the end the diagnoses was a blocked Ureter valve in my kidney due to the position of my uterus... lovely I know. now being as pregnant as I was and in so much pain, baby was becoming distressed and I began having contractions on a regular basis. I was offered every means of having her early, but I could not get over the fact that it was just TOO early. ( I was at that point only 34 weeks) so my doctors and I agreed that with a few medications to keep me from going into labour I could make it past 36 weeks and she would be in much better health after that mark.
and so the wait continued, the most painful, uncomfortable few weeks of my life. when my nurse asked the doctor in front of my how long I had been in labour for, he generously piped up and said "lets just say in years to come she will be telling this baby she was in labor for 16 days."
eventually the time came in amongst the fog that is those few weeks that I had to have a temporary Stent put into my Uretor valve to allow some flow, which meant surgery =S I am NOT a fan of being put to sleep!... luckily I had some family there to greet me when I woke up which I don't really remember, but it was nice to know anyway.
The surgery was a success and did relieve a small amount of the pain and discomfort to baby... for a few days, when they say temporary, they mean it. My lovely surgeon had not informed me just how low the likeliness of the Stent being put in would actually help.... It was generally a waste of time, which is actually causing more damage than good now, and I still have to have another lovely surgery to have the bloody thing removed. (GRRRRR)
Anyway... another few days, or weeks, I really don't know went by and I began having regular contractions again ( uh-oh ) baby did NOT want to wait for the 36 week mark... so to save the baby any more strain, the plan was to induce. ( EIK ) Doc came in, did his thing, walked out the door and ten minutes later I was having contractions every 30 seconds like nobodies business... they had to stop my "over active uterus" from causing, again, more stress on baby.( after they lovingly made me suffer for a good few hours) next day, I was induced again, this time things went much slower...24 hours of slowness and the usual, "stuck @ 4 cm" crap. then all of a sudden within about 20 minutes I went from 4 cm to 10 cm and there was NO waiting... I mean doctors were yelling at me, I was yelling @ Steve,... 1 2 3 Puuusssshhh... and finally HAILEY had arrived!!!! 5 pounds 8 ounces of pure joy. As much as labour SUCKS there is nothing like those first few moments of pure bliss getting to hold your baby, watching Steve hold her was just as thrilling for me, we hugged and cried... and I sent him away to follow that little bundle and keep her safe.
As happy and elated as I was @ meeting my girl, this was the beginning of what has been the hardest time in my life.
Hailey was rushed to the nursery, and worked on... now I am not going to go into detail, but lets just say, he poor little thing has had a VERY rough first few days.
she has however gotten over obstacles they told us could take weeks, in the amount of 4 days. that's not to say she is in the clear just yet, but she is definitely our little trooper.
her biggest obstacle was her lungs, she was born with pretty immature lungs, and that with a combo of events in her first few days resulted in breathing tubes and help with lung pressure. she is now I am proud to say rid of all breathing apparatus we were told this would take weeks ( she was rid of the hoses or elephant nose as we refer to it) after only 3 days!.
Amongst a few small hurdles... little Troopers biggest obstacle at this point, is learning how to eat without needing a feeding tube. this is apparently a common problem with preemies, as they haven't yet developed the skill of sucking swallowing and breathing all at the same time (that's alot to learn!)
And so I have become the human milking machine (sorry if that disturbs you) but all I seem to do now is pump pump pump, its literally all I can do for Hailey now that I am home, and what she needs is nutrition to become stronger and healthier. we bottle up my breast milk and sometimes get the pleasure of helping to feed Hailey with the use of the feeding tube.... no its not the same as feeding my child the way I would like, but I still feel like I am helping her, even by just holding up that vial of milk as it drains.
So this post seems to be solely based on lil Hailey, lets not forget our 2 yr old resident smarty pants... we have simply hit a snag of bad timing. Poor Emma came down with a nasty flu bug the day before I had Hailey, and has basically been in quarantine at my mothers house ever since. I honestly can not begin to explain just how much I miss her (Ive been away for over a month with only visits to the hospital) , we talk on the phone a bazillion times a day, sing songs, and giggle... we even receive beautiful colored pictures of fruit and trees through a cracked car window as we drop off rations and medicine to our poor girl =( , I am over the moon excited for the day I can introduce her to her little sister , she is SOO excited! and I play Emma's rendition of Twinkle Twinkle little star to Hailey every chance I get, this was Emma's favorite song to sing to my belly <3 .
Ok... so I believe I have rambled on long enough, and covered most of the main points. I know I left alot out, but how could I possibly go on any longer? lol
you are now caught up. my daily(ish) blog can now start...
the beginning of 3 Ladies and a Guy <3
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
my return!
Well I have been wanting to re-enter the blogosphere for forever now ... so here I am! or should I say here we are! this will not be the most interesting of blogs I am sorry to say, probably more of my daily rantings of common motherly duties, and bitching about the amount of dishes my hubby to be seems to leave around the house. It will however, be 100% our life, the way we choose to live it, with no regrets. I am sick of making excuses for the way I (we) choose to live life. I am happy, Extraordinarily so, in all my lameness.
so welcome to my Blog =)
so welcome to my Blog =)
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